Toxic Shame - Recovering from shame in family systems

It works by undermining the individual’s most fundamental sense of worth, leaving them with an intangible sense of being wrong, unworthy – a disgrace in some way – at the core of their being. Afraid of having this confirmed by others, people with a core sense of shame may fear intimacy and social engagement; their ability to engage with life involves holding themselves apart from others. Anxiety, loneliness and depression may be its painful side-effects. When feelings of shame are compounded by further humiliations, aggression may be triggered.

Every message of a shame-based family, it is suggested, is the re-enactment of trans and intergenerational wounding. Clients may not be aware that they suffer from shame but if these emotions bring a person or family into therapy it can be worked through. This is challenging therapeutic work: underlying dynamics may play out, taking hold of all involved, including the therapist and perhaps supervisor. Our speakers come from psychodynamic and systemic family work and have vast experience working with shame in all its forms and extremities. We will discuss how to manage these dynamics in the consulting room so clients can grow in self-belief and transcend the family pattern.